Tag Archives: friendship

There are Tribes, And Then There are Tribes. Bragging Rights of a Card Carrying Tribe Member.

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“A Tribe is a group of women, supporting one another in mamahood. Without judgement and with total respect, love and admiration.”

My tribe is like no other. I find myself among these amazing, brilliant women. I’m not even sure how I got here. All of us connected through birth.   

Souls of gold and mouths like sailors, even this I love.  Sharing encouragement, disappointment, inspiration, hope.

We are all so different and in the end, we are one. Strong. Our common denominator of birth, and passion for birth.

It begins with birth, but then it goes deeper. It creates a history of trials and triumphs. It is a powerful thing, when a group of women form in giving way, to lift one another up in hope and support. A love and circle that is positive and unconditional rather than hurtful and judgemental.

So today I light a candle for one of my tribe members. Just as I did yesterday. I send her this amazing energy of healing and trust. My wish, my blessing for every woman, is that she find her tribe and that she settle in peacefully.

 

*This slideshow warms my heart. The birth photos were taken by Patience Salgado. Just a piece of this amazing journey.

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Triangle Walk for Moms & Midwives, Blooming Throughout the Year

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This gorgeous tree patiently awaits as our walk approaches, reminding me of my own growth and change.

This post is about more than the Walk for Moms & Midwives. It’s about growth and humility and change.

One year ago we moved from a community that we loved dearly for my husband’s job. I quickly researched all things birth in my new area and found the Walk for Moms & Midwives, happening the weekend after our move. Although it was taking place an hour from our new town, I knew we had to be there. I knew I would meet friends and feel that birth energy I desperately crave.

And then I didn’t. I didn’t feel that love, that energy. I walked away with no friends, no feeling of hippie dippie love and welcoming goodness. My first taste that I was indeed in a new place. Things were different. This birth community was different. And I wasn’t swallowed up by it, like in my own community.

As the year went on, I had ups and downs. A feeling of excitement about bringing change and birth awareness to this small town I was now a part of. Fear of not being understood in a town that has no obvious birth community. In a town, and bigger, in a state, where CPM’s (Certified Professional Midwife) are not licensed and homebirth is not talked about openly. I went home. A lot.  When I went into labor with our second baby, we drove 2 hours to have our baby at a dear friend’s home because I could not let go. My arms could reach just far enough to still be a part of my old community.

The seasons were changing. It was becoming spring. I was realizing I had new friends. I had seen homebirth in my town. I I had met women who loved midwifery, understood good maternal and prenatal care, were aware of a world outside of this teeny piece of land.  Women who may not have been exactly like-minded, but women who were open-minded and really wanted information. Women who whispered to me in confidence that they slept with their babies and nursed their toddlers.

So as I looked around at this year’s Walk for Moms & Midwives, seeing friends and midwives and knowing stories of them all. Seeing a community that does love birth. A community that, while still not quite my own, was flourishing with families all sharing a passion for the same human and civil right. The same desire and fight that burns in my own heart.

This year, we walked and laughed with new friends. We were a part of this group. Without knowing it, we had become some piece of this puzzle.

While I still miss my heart, my being, my home, my tribe, this has become my home-away-from-home. I have created a safe birth circle, in spite of my dire resistance. In spite of my longing to be with my best friends. In spite of my desire to surround myself with my people. In spite of, well, myself.

* www.ncfom.org for more information on midwifery in North Carolina.

The Ripple Effect of the Oxytocin High

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Oxytocin Love, Picture by Patience Salgado

Oxytocin:  (ox-y-to-cin) polypeptide hormone, produced during and after childbirth. Commonly known as the “love hormone”. Often imitated, never duplicated. 

Today I visited with my dear friend and her one day old baby. Born at home, pink as a rose and beautiful. And mama looked more effortlessly gorgeous than I’ve ever seen her look. Relaxed, in her own bed, nursing her new baby.

I sucked up all of the love in that room. Her birth alter feet away. Her candles still burning. That love. That oxytocin love. Such a sacred space. I was honored to be there. Honored to get some of that energy.

As I listened, soaking up her birth story, the real story, I listened so gently. Carrying this story so fragile and fresh. This space, really too intimate for me to be there. This space and time shared with me. Grateful.

So I take away this amazing Oxytocin high. This sympathetic high of being in your own bed, snuggling with your brand new baby all day as it drizzles outside and the world moves on without you. This cloud 9, this euphoria.

I thank you, mama. For this little piece of heaven. This everything will be alright. This, the whole world is simple and lovely. My heart is heavy and full for you tonight.

My blessing for you, my friend. That you stay in this cocoon for as long as life will let you.